Salt
by Goomba Fortress
Summary: A heap of coincidences leads to one last moment of lucidity for the gentle queen. Companion fic for "Shehecheyanu".


AN- Just a sad piece dedicated to Susan. I own nothing, as usual.

Susan Pevensie is all but well adjusted to her new life abroad. The only thing that could be missing is something she doesn't even dream about anymore. It's almost half remembered as she looks in her vanity mirror and imagines an elven maid and a golden crown of leaves on her head. The thoughts of the magical land flood all too fast into her memory and she finds herself fighting tears as she yanks the ball gown and corset out of her closet.

It wasn't common anymore to wear a corset, and Susan thinks somewhere in her mind that she is trying to hold onto false memories, but the invitation did say formal. She finds her eyes roaming on the dark green linen gown she chose for the evening and she is reminded of a younger, happier time.

"_It's the Autumn fire festival, and you will simply look lovely in this color, Susan." Her handmaiden, Elin has nearly gone to the point of insanity to try to make the monarch happy, and yet, Susan finds her thoughts drifting for a moment. _

"_And just think of how Rabadash will see you? This is a very flattering gown." Susan finally finds herself caving to Elin's wishes and before she knows it, the door opens to her chambers and Elsa quietly mouses into the room. Elsa had come to them under secret cover, and even though her stay in the castle had been one of some length, no one was quite certain how she had gotten there._

"_Are you almost ready, Su?" Elsa's blind eyes are fixed on the ground and Susan can tell that the anxiety has built in her from the long days of preparation for the festival. Her slightly curly platinum blonde hair is held back with a blue ribbon and her skirts remind Susan of a stormy day. But, it suits her, she thinks._

"_Oh, thank Aslan you are here, Lady Elsa. I simply cannot lace her corsets tight enough, care to give it a go?" Elin looks frustrated to Susan and she bites back a laugh. _

"_I am sorry, Elin." Susan finds herself apologizing "Perhaps someday you will be able to." _

"_I can get it on, you just want them laced so tightly I wonder if you can even breathe under there?" _

_Susan does laugh and she walks over to Elsa, who is smirking herself. "We can handle it, Elin. Go prepare yourself." With that, the flushed elf flees the room, leaving Susan gripping her cherry wood bedpost. _

_In no time at all, Susan feels Elsa's practiced, nimble hands tighten and re-lace her corsets and she wonders how she can do it. _

"_I had one of the house maids teach me. I thought it might be useful to know, in situations like this." She yanks on the cords and Susan gasps a bit. "You need to rest?" _

_Susan shakes her head, then vocalizes, feeling slightly silly. _

"_You don't need eyes to lace up a corset, Susan." _

"You're still in denial, aren't you?" Elsa's voice is low, and slightly unbelieving as she walks into their shared rooms. "I smelled the salt." The fact that they had both migrated to the states, ended up in the same college, and in the same dorm room had initially baffled the pair. Upon finding out that the memories of her narnian counterpart had begun to slip, she had regaled Susan with countless tales of battles and balls, and of their subjects. Elsa had stopped at nothing and after these conversations, all Susan could think about was the lions roar in her ears.

"Not in denial, it never happened."

"Do you need help getting dressed?"

"I suppose I do. You were the only one who could lace them the way I liked." Susan's voice breaks as she acknowledges the reality of Narna.

"One last time, I suppose wouldn't hurt." It breaks Elsa's heart to know that Susan had given up. The blind lady crosses the room efficiently and automatically feels her fingers lope around the gentle arc of Susan's back, just as if they had never left.

"It makes you feel like we are really back, doesn't it?"

"Aslan doesn't love us anymore. If he did, we would be with him there. Not stuck here. I had a whole life there." Susan grips the edges of the vanity with her finely manicured fingertips until they turn white.

"We all had a life there, Susan. You aren't the only one who lost something."

"We are old souls, in young capable bodies again. To have to live two lifetimes is unbearable."

Elsa nods and finishes tying off the rough cords. "I know. It's taken quite a toll on Peter and I."

"You still have each other."

"And you have us. We are still family, Su. Narnia or not."

And just like that, the moment is gone and Elsa doesn't need eyes to see that the clarity had disappeared from Susan's face.


End file.
